Megsanity
Women, psychology and expletives.

It starts as soon as we get married, sometimes at the wedding reception.

“When are you guys going to have kids?”

It’s like a cult, this motherhood thing that we are pressured to join at the first possible opportunity. We’re told that we will forget the pain of childbirth, that we won’t even miss our old activities. 

LIES! ALL LIES! I’d love to see the day I completely forget squeezing a wriggling, screaming  turkey out of my vagina. 

But there is a division between this outside pressure and the experience of some women, particularly in the case of bipolar disorder. While we hear, “Come join us,” peppered into even the most mundane conversations, these women often hear, “Danger!” because their physician told them they should avoid pregnancy.

And it tears them apart....  continue reading

I was going to stay out of it, I really was. There are already so many beautiful and poignant writings about the Stanford rapist at this

juncture, including a moving letter from the victim herself.

But now that Brock Turner’s father has gotten involved, noting that a paltry six month sentence is “a steep price to pay for twenty minutes of action,” I’m too pissed to stay out of it. We all should be.

Daddy went on to shift fault to the university:

“In hindsight, it’s clear that Brock was desperately trying to fit in at Stanford and fell into the culture of alcohol consumption and partying. This culture was modeled by many of the upperclassmen on the swim team and played a role in the events of Jan 17th and 18th 2015.”

Dan, your son was not on trial for drinking, you rape-enabling fuck. He sexually abused an unconscious woman.

Now, it is true that the culture of hyper-masculinity encourages more aggressive behaviors in men and boys. It is true that most rapists have abuse in their own pasts (ahem). It is also true that alcohol clouds judgment.

But your son is a predator.

He is not a victim....  continue reading

Transgender identity, as a broad term, is the idea that some people do not conform consistently or unambiguously to the typical (or accepted) notions of “male” or “female”. When we hear the term, it is often used to describe someone like Caitlyn Jenner whose gender identity (sense of themselves as male or female) or gender expression differs from that usually associated with their birth sex. However, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender atypical will identify as a transgendered. Tim Curry in The Rocky Horror Picture Show isn’t necessarily transgender just because he loves women’s lingerie. He could just be a proud dude in panties.

But the issue is far beyond dressing a certain way or acting a certain way. The transgendered population is under attack at every turn due to forces they cannot control. I mean, why are we so worried about where people can pee for fuck’s sake?

Gender identity, like sexuality, exists on a spectrum. And as a society, we disregard anyone who doesn’t fit into these little tiny boxes of “normal.” We label them as mentally ill. We try to take away their inherent human rights. And that is a huge part of what triggers depression and anxiety and suicide in misunderstood and persecuted populations. 

In short, being transgender isn’t the problem. We are....  continue reading

“Just stop thinking about it. Get over it.” 

If you hear this often from the people around you, tell them to screw off. Because I’m here to tell you that refusing to think those scary thoughts might be a huge mistake from a mental health standpoint. Instead of supressing them, you need time to focus on them. 

But why the hell would anyone put aside time to focus on scary thoughts, especially if they are not currently anxious?

It's not masochism. It's a part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. And there may be a solution that allows you to put off scary thought patterns without the side effects related to suppression, while improving your perception of control over your thoughts. 

Let’s take a ride. We’ll start with the bad news....  continue reading

Our dog's name, roughly translated into Latin, means "Star Wars". So I feel compelled to at least mention the fact that Star Wars VII IS ALMOST HERE, YOU GUYS! But because I do not have a sci-fi fangirl blog, I need to keep all this excitement in check and stick to the psychology. So let's get to it. 

There are a number of vitamins and minerals that are critical for emotional health, from magnesium, to zinc to vitamin B to vitamin D. Like the diverse forces of the Rebel Alliance, all of these contain properties that are required for appropriate functioning of the brain, often on a cellular level.

But did you know that there are certain herbs that may be useful in reducing mental health issues as well? 

Let’s talk about turmeric, an earthy, almost-bitter-but-not-quite herb often used with curry in Indian dishes. It’s not just for curry anymore.

Yoda would approve....  continue reading

South Carolina....just fucking no.

I worked for quite some time with at-risk children in a school setting. School was skipped, homework left incomplete, and defiance, aggression and “back-talk” abounded. Did the kids’ smart mouths and disrespectful attitudes ever make me want to hit them?

Hell to the no. Because I’m a fucking grownup with fully-developed self-regulation skills. And because there are always reasons for negative behaviors. Seeing only the behavior without considering its underlying cause is a short-sighted and ignorant way to handle the situation.

When I see the teenager on the now infamous video, I see a girl in pain. How about we discuss the fact that she was in foster care due to issues at home? That she was asked to leave because she glanced at her cell phone (and apologized for it at the time)? That her “defiance” was her stating that she had done nothing wrong? (Another girl agreed, and was also arrested.) Does it matter that the officer in question had a history of violent behavior? Does any of that matter?

The sad fact is, to many, the circumstances leading up to her beating do not matter. And when I see people disregard this, I see broken people. I see deep-rooted issues. I see the little children they used to be hearing, “Don’t whine, there’s no excuse for that behavior.” I see dysfunction in the masses.

This girl needs help, not violent repercussions. Not abuse. And in the video I saw, the officer was most certainly abusive. Violent. Scary. The adolescent brain is a little unstable and labile as a rule. But the cop is not a child. He showed a gross lack of self-regulation. He lost control. He himself is broken, very likely another victim in the ongoing cycle of abuse endorsed by our society. He needs serious help, not high fives....  continue reading