What Causes Codependency? How To Create A Codependent Relationship

Monday, January 13, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

There was a time when individuals within groups had to be dependent on one another for survival. As reciprocal altruism evolved, we developed the drive both to give and to repay debts to even out overages and shortages within groups, thereby ensuring higher rates of survival for all members.This mutual assistance was not a disorder. Relying on others was just what you did to not fucking die. 

But, then and now, there was probably room to get carried away. Pathological altruism is a pattern of nurturing that, instead of helping the giver or the group, has unsuccessful outcomes1

AKA: the "My Bad, It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time" response....  continue reading

The Myth of Codependency: Why What You Know About Codependent Relationships Might Be Wrong

Friday, January 10, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

According to most modern definitions, codependency is characterized by people-pleasing behaviors, care-taking tendencies, strong emotional responses to partners--including high sympathy and empathy--a need to be liked and a fear of rejection. But codependency is severely misunderstood, and this may be triggering depression and anxiety in women who incorrectly label themselves as codependent.

It isn't that codependent behaviors don't exist at all. This series will cover the evolution of codependent behaviors, triggers to codependency, modern definitions of codependent relationships and boundaries. However, because I like to go a little against the grain, I have decided to begin with codependency misunderstandings. Not only is it a subtle way to stick it to the man, but it is just as important to understand what codependency isn't as what it is....  continue reading