Why I Hate Mother's Day

Saturday, May 09, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Mom Stories/Opinion

As Mother's Day approaches, many are gearing up for celebration. Today I have a guest post from someone on the flip side of that coin. This post is for anyone out there struggling today. 

By: Scarlet Hayes

The day of the year that I dread most is upon us: Mother's Day. 

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing that I love more than being a mother. Having my children is the best thing I have ever done. I look at them and my heart skips a beat, much like it does with new love, except that feeling never goes away. The love of one’s children is love in its truest form. 

But on Mother’s Day, I also feel a pang of emptiness, because I know that the woman who gave birth to me does not, actually cannot, harbor the same love and feelings towards me. 

Sometimes, mothers suck. I know because mine did. She tried to destroy my career, my family, and my life. My womb donor was, and is, a piece of shit....  continue reading

Hugs, Help and Hope: Assisting A Loved One Through Suicidal Thoughts

Monday, May 04, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Depression

Why do people commit suicide?

Contrary to popular belief, most people don’t commit suicide because they hate themselves or because they are cowards. They truly believe that their families will be better without them. For most, suicide is seen as a way out. This does not bode well for all who must suffer their loss.

But as the Dalai Lama notes in The Art of Happiness, those who want to kill themselves want to end their suffering, showing that they have at least some self compassion and self love left. I tend to take this approach and see suicidal thoughts as a last ditch effort to make themselves feel better, because somewhere inside they know they don’t deserve to be unhappy. 

You want to die? You love yourself enough to try again.  

But how to drive this point home? How can we help someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts?

First, let’s do a little background. Understanding matters....  continue reading

I Am A Killer

Thursday, April 30, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Trauma

By: Byron Hamel

For years, I looked for him.

The man who tortured me.

It made sense in my brain.  I’d find him.  Tie him up.  I’d torture him for months.  And then I’d kill him.  Slowly.  I would tear him into pieces.  I would mail him to his relatives.  And to my mother.  She who sat and watched.  And who sometimes participated.  Getting off on it.  She who some of my own family still recommend that I forgive, and send her pictures of my children.  They still believe I should respect her.  Hold her name up high, and bring her in with open arms.  This torturing malicious animal who is my mother.

This monster and her mate, the morbid sexual relief they found from beating me.  And how they breathed in coitus while they made us watch as we both sat there bleeding.  Five long years I lived through this.  So many pieces missing....  continue reading

"You Want to Zap My WHAT!?" Electroconvulsive Therapy, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation and Memory

Monday, April 27, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Treatment Techniques

When people think of Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT), they usually envision something pretty archaic. A One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest style lab complete with sadistic doctors in lab coats and patients strapped to tables prepared to have their brains scrambled. Or they picture that whole lobotomy thing with ice picks up the nose. 

Except…that’s not at all what it is, though there are probably those who would embrace lobotomy treatments if it meant the depression would cease altogether. (For a great insight into ECT and recovery check out Will I Ever Be the Same Again? Transforming the face of ECT.)

So let’s get into this. 

Disclaimer: I have never been involved in administering ECT, though I have worked with a few outpatient and inpatient clients who have undergone this procedure. I’m a smart girl, but treating a handful of people who have undergone ECT does not make me a expert on this particular treatment. 

I wish it did. I’d be an expert on Every Damn Thing. 

What I can offer you is what I saw, answer the questions that my patients had, give you some background on what ECT is and what it isn’t and tell you about another less invasive treatment using magnets.

Uh...magnets?

That's right folks. Prepare to be fucking amazed....  continue reading

"Let Them Walk": Overparenting, Eroding Community Relationships and How to Make Your Kid Nervous as F*ck

Monday, April 20, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Psychology of Motherhood

If you guys know me, you’re probably aware that I’m a feminist. To me, this is about respecting the rights of other women, about embracing our differences and offering support. 

And I’m a little pissed off. 

Every week I see another story on some mother who let her kid walk home from school, or go to a park alone or god forbid walk to a friend’s house. Their children are being detained, mothers arrested, families torn apart if only for an hour or a few days.

Do the charges get dropped? Well, sure, almost always. But it SHOULDN’T BE FUCKING HAPPENING IN THE FIRST PLACE. 

If children walking down the street alone was really all that criminal, all of our mothers would be in jail. If your mom wouldn’t have called the cops for it, you probably shouldn’t either. “Free-range parenting” isn’t a new fucking thing. It was always just a normal thing until the last few years when we suddenly got super nervous. 

Helicoptering is the recent parenting fad, much like the majority of parenting fads that came before. And over vigilance is easy to fall into; after all, in our history we probably had some times where leaving a kid alone meant they got eaten by a saber-toothed tiger

But we aren’t in a place where we need to be on constant watch for a goddamn tiger. We only think we are....  continue reading

Bipolar Disorder, Creativity and Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor

Thursday, April 09, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under General

“Bipolar disorder isn't a death sentence, but it is a life sentence. How I do the time has changed.” ~Lance Burson, Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor

In the last post (here), I discussed bipolar disorder as an evolutionary system bent on survival, with periods of productivity interspersed between periods of depressed function as a way to reserve resources. With all these evolutionary links, and twisty interconnected brain wiring, it is no surprise that those who suffer from bipolar or related conditions tend to experience periods of creativity, either due to the wiring itself of due to a need to use creative process as an outlet. 

To drive this point home, I’ve invited one of the editors of Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor to share her experiences with creative release and Bipolar Disorder. Then I am going to tell you more about this book because it’s a rarity that you find something that normalizes so many conditions in one place and everyone should read it....  continue reading