10 Reasons People Who Don't Understand Depression are Annoying to be Around

Thursday, February 26, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under Depression

The National Report has been accused of all kinds of shady reporting, even going so far as to publish blatantly false stories on the Ebola epidemic. This week, they published an article titled “10 Reasons Why People With Depression Are Annoying To Be Around.” 

Unfortunately, the list was a little backwards. So I kept the headings but corrected the information. Now without further ado, here are ten reasons that people who don’t understand depression are annoying to be around. When you fuck with my people, you fuck with me.

10. They Just Can't Get Over it

People who don’t understand depression just can't get over all these annoying assholes who suffer from depression. They are pretty sure that their efforts to cheer up their party-pooper friends should be met with jubilation, i.e.: "Hey! I'm not depressed anymore! Thanks for telling me how annoying I am!" When their effervescent supplications are met with ... omg seriously MORE DEPRESSION?... they lie awake all night seething with impotent rage. When they emerge from bed the next morning disheveled and writhing with irritation that “No one EVER does what I say, especially not depressed people,” they blog about it. They seriously cannot get over it.

9. They Enjoy Bringing Other People Down 

Why read a book like Against Depression when you can bash someone else over the head with it? People who don’t understand depression LOVE to make other people miserable, especially those who are depressed. Look for these unsympathetic jerks in the corner telling sad-looking people to, “Just get over it,” or yelling, “It can’t be that bad!” to some poor guy with a bandaged wrist. 

8. They Tend To Cry. A Lot. 

People who don’t understand depression are always blubbering about how some depressed jerk is ruining their day. “Wahhhhh, my depressed friend didn’t return my phone call! Boo freakin’ hoo!” They might even get “addicted to crying” even though there is no such fucking thing. And while those self-important crocodile tears are running, they might even use phrases like “scientifically speaking” while promoting antiscientific bullshit. Sniff, sniff. One thing they don’t cry about is looking like ignorant assholes.

7. They Are Melodramatic 

When you look up the word “histrionics” in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of a person who doesn’t fucking understand how depression works. These guys CAN’T STAND anyone else getting attention. Ever. Even if the attention is a therapist or a little sympathy. They might even, oh I don’t know, write an inflammatory and fallacious blog post as a way to create some buzz around their own useless existence. 

6. They Create Drama Where There Was None 

People who don’t understand depression make a HUGE deal out of things that have nothing to do with them. “I can’t believe that my depressed friend is being SO dramatic by isolating herself and having terrible negative thoughts!” You want to create drama, find a sadistic dickwad without any understanding of mental illness and put them in front of a computer. A trained monkey would be kinder and probably more intelligent.  

5. They Have No Sense of Humor 

People who don’t understand depression couldn’t find the funny if it was duct taped over their mouths.They are far less hilarious than Robin Williams, George Carlin, Drew Carey and Jim Carrey, all individuals with a history of some type of depression. On a related note: How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. She just stands still and the world revolves around her. Which brings us to…

4. They Think Nothing is More Important Than Their Feelings 

People who don’t understand depression are convinced that their desires are more critical than everyone else’s: “I’m sad that my depressed friend doesn’t want to go to the movies with me!” “I’m angry that my depressed friend told me that she just wants to be alone! What a jerk!” That’s it, I’m writing a blog post about why you’re annoying!”

3. They Don't Care About Other People's Feelings 

Why would someone actually CARE about the fact that their friend is feeling depressed when they can actively make them feel worse, by, perhaps, writing a disquisition about how annoying they are and then publishing it on the World Wide Web? 

2. They Don't Want to Get Better 

“Who gives a fuck if the scientific community doesn’t see depression as a choice? I want to be an asshole forever!” is a common mantra in those uneducated about depression. 

If only there were a cure for being an asshat. (But these guys wouldn’t take it, because being a dick is way too gratifying.)

1. They're Relentlessly Needy 

People who don’t understand depression need you to listen to their bullshit. That’s why they write blogposts belittling individuals who are already hurting. Those who don’t understand depression need us to hear them and to believe them in order to matter. After all, if we don’t listen to them, where would we be as a nation? Oh, that’s right: smarter.

Related Posts: 

Topic-Relevant Resources

The Mindfulness Solution
Meditative and cognitive techniques for everyday use

Listening to Prozac
The effect of serotonin and other neurotransmitters on personality and mental health, and the changes in diagnosis itself with the introduction of medications for the "less mentally ill"

Emotional Intelligence (why it can matter more than IQ)
Studies on emotional function, social prowess and their influence on success

Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation
New techniques for mindfully altering the wiring of your own brain, leading to increased happiness.

Against Depression
Detailed explanations of the systems involved in depression along with personal stories of success from psychiatrist Peter Kramer.